When I was a little girl, I dreamed of having my own pet. I begged and begged my parents for a dog, but always ended up with goldfish. I kept flies in jars, potato bugs in tupperware, and one time I ended up with a pet balloon! Pet after pet died, and every time was TRAUMA. It seems silly now that I’m older, to have been so attached to a goldfish or even a fly. But I loved every single one of my “pets” (even the balloon, which had a cat drawn on it!) and heartbreak after heartbreak was exhausting for me. I’m sure it was exhausting for my parents too!
Around that time I had developed some crippling anxieties and fears. I would need to be in the same room as someone else at all times, or else I would freak out. Finally my parents came to the conclusion that “maybe if we got her a pet that would live longer she would stop having so many meltdowns. And maybe it would help with her anxiety!"
This was a big step for my parents. My mom did NOT want animals in the house and I knew that. She never thought she could love an animal or even let one sit on our furniture, but she and my dad decided to welcome one into the home for me.
So, on November 27, 2004 we went to Petsmart “just to look”. But pretty much the moment we walked in, we knew we would walk out with a new friend! There were several cute dogs, and my mom wanted a particular cocker spaniel. But the moment I saw the Shih Tzu “Hoggy”, I knew he was supposed to be ours!
The workers let us take him out for a little walk. I guess another family was already filling out the paperwork to adopt Hoggy at that moment. But they must have saw us with him and known he was supposed to be ours, because they backed out.
By the time we walked out, we had a new member of the family, and had already renamed him! He shook a lot, so Seiji said, “we should name him Shaky”. Maybe he was joking, but I thought it was a great name! I thought we should be creative with the spelling though, so Shakee he became. We added "Coconut" as his middle name, because he looked like the American Girl dog "Coconut", and American Girl was my thing at the time.
Right away Shakee became my best little friend. I definitely was not his favorite human at first, because I smothered him with so much love! I put bows in his hair, booties on his feet, and tried to get him to sleep under my covers with me. He put up with so much!
For me, Shakee became the companion that I so needed. He was there for me when I felt scared, and somehow just his presence was a comfort. He was there for me when I was sad. Somehow he always knew! He would always come up to me when I was sad and tap me with his paw, as if asking what was the matter. Even though he probably couldn’t understand anything I ever said to him, I always felt like Shakee knew me better than anyone else did.
I was seven years old when Shakee came into our family. That was a long time ago! I feel like Shakee, Seiji, and I all grew up together. He is just a part of the family!
Over the past few years, Shakee hasn’t done so well. A few years back he had to get major surgery because he was doing so bad, and that helped quite a bit. But this past year has been rough on him. Finally, after months of Shakee not being able to walk, my parents made a really difficult decision.
December 28, 2017 was one of the very hardest days of my life. I had a week’s notice of what was to happen, which was good because I was able to spend some extra special time with Shakee, but also bad because I just cried every time I held him. I knew my parents had made the right decision though. You could tell that Shakee was in lots of pain, and he was no longer able to do anything that he enjoyed.
Shakee’s last day was a really good one for him. Seiji took him on a walk in the morning, and though it took a really long time and Seiji had to carry him through most of it, he was happy and excited. He spent the day snuggling with us and playing outside. Honestly, seeing his tail wag made the decision so much harder! We wanted to back out but even his vet told us it was past time. So, we all stood around our little Shakee as he left this earth.
It was really strange. Not once in his life did he not get major anxiety when being taken to the vet. But when we took him that day, he was as calm as could be. We were all really surprised at that, but so grateful that he wasn’t scared. Maybe he also knew it was time.
I miss how he would snore. I miss rubbing his silky ears. I miss how he would howl when we were taking too long to tie our shoes before a walk. I miss how, after he got out of the bath, he would tear through the house, running faster than ever. I miss how he would do all four of his tricks for us whenever we were holding food that he wanted. I miss how he would slowly move closer and closer to the wall when sleeping on my bed, so that by the middle of the night I was pinned against the wall. I miss how he would stare out the window for hours, thinking that he was protecting us. I miss how he would start barking like crazy when the wind blew, causing a bush or tree to move and startle him!
I knew it would be hard, but I never thought it would be this hard to lose Shakee. I realize now more than ever what a blessing he has been in our lives. Each of us needed him in our own way. He was absolutely perfect for us. All he did was love us, every moment of every day, and that made our lives so much more full. I know he lived a good long life, and I am happy about that. But it’s still hard.
It is difficult going to my parents and instinctively looking down the hall to where his bed used to be, usually with him snoring away in it. Everything there reminds me of him, and sometimes I think I hear him but it’s just the TV or the washer or something.
It’s been a really hard couple of weeks. We got his ashes back just a few days ago, so now it really feels real. I just am trying to remember how happy Shakee was, and all the good times we had together.
That’s all I have to say today, but I’ll now attach some more pictures we got of our cute little Shakee throughout his life. He really is the best dog!
